Archives for category: Romance

They say, “All good things come to those who wait.”

I waited.

But they also say, “All good things must come to an end.”

It ended… or did it?

Are things really over for good? Do things really come to an ending? People would say that, yes they do. When you die everything ends. Everything ends for you but not for the people that you left behind. And while i’m not talking about the death of a person, i am talking about the death of a relationship.

And yes, as i write this i am listening to sad songs to really bring out the depressive state that i’m pushing myself further into. Don’t worry though, i’m okay. And even if i wasn’t, i will be.

I want to write about him.

I know that a few people will be reading this and thinking that i will find love somewhere else because it always comes around. I know that it does. This isn’t about that.

Our relationship ended. It wasn’t bad. No one hurt the other person but obviously no relationship is perfect. We both had our fair share of emotional baggage and if it wasn’t for that i suppose everything would be fine.

If.

It’s only been a few weeks and we’re giving each other space, which is the hardest thing ever. No calls, texts, late night skype calls. Maybe never a friendly hug ever again, who knows. But the thing is, with me and him, our connection was so strong. If we had been friends when we were younger we would still be the best of friends now. That’s how close we are… were? We would sometimes talk about the “What if we broke up?” scenario and we agreed that we would both want to remain friends because we couldn’t imagine our lives without the other in it.

But.

Can people really stay friends after a break up? And if they can’t is it because the other person treated them so badly or is it because they know they’re meant to be together but they’re too afraid to try again?

Time away from him has made me see that he wasn’t perfect. And i wasn’t perfect. And we have some big issues of our own to sort out, separately. But there’s also things i want us to deal with together. I want us to grow together, i want us to become better versions of ourselves, i want to have all the good times and bad times together. I want us to stand together in front of every battle in life, hold hands and charge at it.

Together.

But that’s what i want and If he wants something else then us being Together might never happen.

But things are never really over. Because you think about it when you least expect it. You think about how things might have turned out if you had done something differently or never met someone. And you think that they never think about it. But i bet they do.

 

The End…?

I don’t know you and you don’t know me. But we both know him.

I don’t know your likes and dislikes but I do know how you treated him and I don’t understand why.

I guess I should say thank you in a way because you showed him what it’s like to be mistreated and I showed him what it’s like to be loved.

He’ll never doubt himself again.

He’ll never hide away in the bathroom just to get away from you.

He’ll never be told to sleep on the couch after an argument; we’ll talk instead.

He’ll never be given the silent treatment for days on end.

He’ll never be used.

He’ll never pretend to be happy because he fears your reaction.

He’ll never feel scared to tell me how he’s really feeling.

He’ll never be judged for any job he chooses to have or anything he wants to do.

He’ll never feel unappreciated.

He’ll never feel unloved.

He’ll never miss you.

 

 

Thank you for letting him go.

I realise that is absolutely fine to talk about sex and that it’s a natural part of being human but does that mean we have to talk about it all the damn time?

Most of us have grown up in this age where sex is a massive deal and if you’re not having it or talking about it or doing it 5 times a day with different partners then that means that there’s something wrong with you. That’s wrong.

Now, I’m not a prude or anything like that. I’m a normal human and I enjoy sex but I just don’t like talking about the details of my sex life with other humans. Is that wrong? For example, a friend of mine is a virgin. It’s their choice and I respect it and I’ve never questioned them because it’s none of my business. Recently my friend got into a relationship and started asking me for advice on how to ‘please’ their partner. I can understand why they asked, having never done it before, but I felt very awkward to say the least. Especially when they said ‘Have you got any tips?’.

It honestly made me feel like I was some sex expert. Which I am not. Who is?

So obviously I had to tell my friend that I was extremely uncomfortable with the conversation and that I couldn’t continue it. Call me old fashioned, but the details of my sex life and the people I’ve shared it with will always remain my business.

Being a teenager and starting to have a sex life was a really big deal and it was all you wanted to talk about but now I’m nearly mid twenties, I know I’m not old by any standards, but I’ve grown up a lot and playing drinking games were you have to name your favourite sexual position just does not appeal to me.

Now, please don’t get me wrong here. I love a good dirty joke and I’m full of innuendos but that’s all made up and funny. I would never tell someone about a sexual experience of mine for entertainment value or to humiliate someone. Not now that I’ve grown up.

I’m not trying to offend anyone here. I mean if you love talking about your sex life then great! But make sure who you’re talking to about it also enjoys it. Or that person will go home picturing you in all sorts of positions and probably end up feeling uncomfortable around you in future. Nobody wants to feel like that.

Also,

It’s okay to be a virgin.

It’s okay to wait until marriage.

It’s okay to have had over 10 sexual partners.

And it is okay to talk about it. Just make sure it’s not the only thing.

And as always, be safe.

Much love and have fun 🙂

 

Having mental health issues or any health issues is difficult.

Being in a long distance relationship is difficult.

I have both. (Yay)

It was known from that start that both me and my boyfriend have mental issues. We both have depression, anxiety and previous eating disorders. His eating habits being on the low end of the scale and mine at the top. I guess that makes us pretty similar in a way. It also makes it extremely difficult to deal with.

It’s a horrible feeling getting a call from the one you love saying they’re having a panic attack and all you can do is talk to them and reassure them that everything is okay. You can’t hold them and kiss them and it hurts like hell.

Being apart from my boyfriend can be extremely hard for me because I don’t have a job at the moment due to my health so I have to do things to keep me occupied. He goes to university during his term time but he found out today he got a full time job he applied for. I’m completely over the moon for him, don’t get me wrong, but it now means it’ll be even harder for us to spend time together and I’m trying my best to see the positives. When I’m back in Home 1, which is where I live at the moment, I always make sure I have one of his t-shirts to sleep with at night and I have photos of us on my wall. He has a box of things like photos and keep sakes of mine in a box in his bedroom. It’s so important to have a physical thing to hold onto when we’re apart.

Anyway, I’m rambling. I really hope this post reaches people who are in the same situation because it would be great to hear about your experiences and share any advice that we may have.

Much love and have fun 🙂 x