This is a hard thing for me to write because my best friend has been my best friend for seven years now but unfortunately I need to vent.

Her boyfriend is a moron and she allows this behaviour.

Her and her boyfriend were friends for two years before they started going out. I was all for the union and was really excited for it to happen but when I heard that they first kissed… something didn’t feel right…

My gut instinct has always been spot on and I think most people would agree with me on this one; when something doesn’t feel right – listen to your gut. It wasn’t long before things started happening which confirmed my instinct was right. My friends boyfriend has had a small drinking problem since he was a teenager. Yeah, he might have just been like every other lad and had too many but he’s been in hospital a couple of times due to alcohol. Now, as an adult, he doesn’t drink nearly as much but since my friend knew about all this before dating him she doesn’t like it when he drinks too much.

So, to cut a long story short, over the past year that they’ve been dating he has caused problems because of his drinking. He’s not an alcoholic but he’s an annoyance when he’s had a drink and sometimes likes to involve everyone in his antics.

On a completely different note but still relevant to the story, a few weeks ago I was contacted by an old college friend. We hadn’t spoken in a year and a half so when he messaged me on facebook I was a little surprised but happy to catch up all the same. The conversation was going fine until he started to get a little flirty. Now, I know for a fact that this guy has a fetish and his fetish just so happens to be – tickling! He loves to tickle the ladies. Each to their own I say but unwanted attention is never okay. So he starts on about tickle torture and what not and I felt extremely uncomfortable but being as nice as I am I managed to leave the conversation hoping he wouldn’t contact me again – no such luck. So I mentioned my boyfriend a couple of times hoping this would jog his memory that I actually have one and this eventually made him stop contacting me. In conclusion, I don’t find this behaviour at all appropriate, I wouldn’t contact someone out of the blue and force the conversation onto my ‘well known’ fetish. Unwanted attention is wrong.

So obviously I told my best friend about this and she tried to make light of it but I didn’t find it funny. I was never close to this guy at college so I found it odd and harassing for him to message me in such a way.

Anyway, my friends boyfriend, who I knew and had became friends with before they started dating, contacted me a few nights ago to catch up. I thought this was fine since we hadn’t spoken in about 8 or so months. The conversation was going fine and was fairly normal but since it was late I went to bed. When I woke up in the morning he had replied to something I said but his next message read ‘Tickle torture ;)’. Straight away I felt sick and also angry. I took a screenshot of what he said and sent it to my friend and told her that it was fine she told him about what happened but that sending me that was not okay.

And finally we get onto why I am mad.

My friend was completely apologetic! She was frantic you would even say. She had been talking to her boyfriend about his drinking and was annoyed because she finally thought he was being mature. She was even so concerned that I would fall out with her because of what he said. I assured her that I would never but that I couldn’t be bothered with his behaviour anymore, and by that I meant hearing about it from her every time we went for lunch. Her boyfriend then sends me a ‘less than heartfelt’ apology and this is when her mood changes.

She actually starts defending him! Saying that he’s just a random guy who says and does weird things and that it’s all part of the package!

I felt sick all day.

Now, I’m not some horrible person and I didn’t want her to be mad at her boyfriend all day but she only lasted an hour. After frantic apologising to defending his actions, I genuinely couldn’t believe it. I’m not going to stay mad at her forever but it genuinely hurt that she was so scared she was going to lose me as a friend one minute to defending her boyfriend and excusing his actions the next.

If you’ve made it this far, I thank you. I just really needed to get all that off my chest.

 

Much love and have fun 🙂 x